pumpkinhead's Un-Tribute to JRK

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Pride and Prejudice of JRK

Well everyone, it's been a long time since I've posted around here. To be frankly honest, I went through a long period of depression about what we believe in, the True Love of Harry and his long-lost Hermione. School was pretty tough because it was difficult to get through English class without the teacher comparing the great literature of the past centuries with that traitor JRK's tragic works. Lately we had to read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, a true love novelist that JRK could learn alot from. The book was most amazing and I could not help from comparing it to the Half-Blood Fraud with how it has the two star-crossed lovers unite at the end unlike the travesty of all-time we know.

First off I must give you a sad admission for I degraded myself into reading Mugglenet, the people that had a loser interview with the traitor JRK in which they all mocked the True Fans of HP. I will not even bother to link to that most agravating thing because I can't bear to read those words one more time (the link is on the right side of this Action Blog). I only was reading Mugglenet because I was coming out of my series of depressions about H+H and I wanted to see if maybe JRK had recounted on her vow to keep them a part. Unfortunately there was no such joyful news but what I did see was this pole that shows why us True Fans are correct.

This pole asked people what their favorite books were that they could never part with, much like their True Love in papercover format. The results were:
1) Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 20%
2) Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkein 17%
3) Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte 14%
4) Harry Potter books - J K Rowling 12%
5) To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee 9.5%
6) The Bible 9%
7) Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte 8.5%
8) 1984 - George Orwell 6%
9) His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman 6%
10) Great Expectations - Charles Dickens .55%
Well no duh! Notice how the greatest love story of all time (after Romeo and Juliet, a novel that is somehow absent from this pole?!) beats out the JeRK's books which betrayed their own love story? I think this is what scientists call a pattern. This got me thinking harder than ever about True Love and why Harry and Hermione are meant to be united as sweat hearts once and for all.

In Pride and Prejudice, the True Lovers are seperated by cruel circumstances far beyond their control, much like the magic that keeps H+H a part. For those of you who don't know this great story, let me fill you in. It takes place in the olden days in England, not long after the days of Romeo and Juliet. The main characters are Elizabeth and Darcy. Darcy is very rich and at first seems like a bit of a mean person. There are lots of other characters and it gets pretty confusing at a lot of times but in the end, Elizabeth realizes that Darcy is actually not that mean and in fact he's super nice because he loves his sister. She freaks out when she realizes that she should have married him when she had the chance (hello, Hermione!) and they run and meet in a field and kiss right before the end of the movie. Lady Catherine is Darcy's mom and let me just say that she is definitely like JRK, she's old and really crotchy and most of all she tries to keep the True Lovers a part like her descender JRK. Also, there are Bingley and Mr. Collings who like Ron and Viktor Krum keep Elizabeth away from her True Love. Same with Anne de Burger who has an arranged marriage with Darcy. But in the end all of the slings and errors of fortune can't stop the love from coming together. I can't remember the historic background but I'm pretty sure Elizabeth becomes Queen and I think Darcy supports her until they both grow old.

Notice something here? The Pride of JRK is keeping her from admitting her mistake of keeping the True Love of Harry and Hermione a part. She has PREJUDICE against this True Love. I hope she can get past this but I am still extremely upset. Prejudice against love is like other prejudices, almost as bad as racism.

Sincerely,

pumpkinhead

65 Comments:

  • Sorry, Pumpkinhead. You aren't fooling anyone with your faux H/Hr stuff--I remember your trollishness very well. You aren't H/Hr at all, so please kill this attempt before you look even more foolish.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:12 PM  

  • Oh, and also: nice way to delete your "coming out post, too, Pumkinhead. Don't think we don't remember.

    Vanceone

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:16 PM  

  • lol sorry? I don't understand. But thanks for reading my blog again vanceone!

    ps: I'm not gay, but I don't know if you meant that as an insult? I have gay friends and they are really nice.

    By Blogger pumpkinhead, at 2:07 AM  

  • I know of no one that does not remember that "pumpkinhead" is a very bored Heron whose ship is so lame that he has nothing better to do but troll H/Hr sites. We're sorry you're so dissatisfied and bored with your own ship, but take it up with Rowling.

    By the by, you're not near intelligent enough to make amusing enough comments for your ship friends to laugh at. I wouldn't quit my day job if I were you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:23 PM  

  • i'm an R/Hr shipper and even with all of the bad experiences i have had with H/Hr shippers, there's no way i can believe this. your little charade is not fooling anyone and doing this is disrespectful to all the peaceful shippers (H/Hr and R/Hr) who are just trying to enjoy the fandom. so cut it out and if you really want to debunk H/Hr why don't you do something constructive and join a debate forum where you can be a real asset to your ship and not an embarrassment.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:37 PM  

  • The misspellings and improper word usages, if intentional, are a nice touch!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:59 AM  

  • unbelievable how much power JKR has. so many fights, do many ridiculers, so many bullies, so many shippers...all for a simple childish story she wrote for herself and tried to have it published.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:59 AM  

  • I find it really sick that Harry and Hermione have a relationship that is similar to the relationship that Ron and Ginny have (minus the unreasonable attitude toward her romantic relationships), and you all persist in turning them into a couple. Why can't there be any sibling relationships in books where the people are *not* related without people turning them into examples of true love?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:21 AM  

  • Thanks for the comments everyone!

    By Blogger pumpkinhead, at 11:20 AM  

  • Oh My God. Dude, is this page like a joke? I can't remember how I found this and I don't care (probably on Mugglenet, that INTERVIEW made me laugh for about a week). Let me just point something out that should have been brought to your attention a very long time ago, but it doesn't seem to have penetrated into your tiny narrow little world of 'sweat hearts' 'poles (polls, hun)' and 'crotchy (LOL) old JRK'. The fact is, dollface, that J K R (!!!) wrote this goddamn series for you! Without her the eternal loves tragically parted Harry and Hermione would not even EXIST. What would you be doing if she hadn't written Harry Potter? You'd probably be on the LOTR forums shipping Frodo/Arwen or something. The point I am making is: How DARE you say such puerile, bitchy things about JK Rowling when the reason you think she's a traitor is because your goddamn ship didn't work out. Do you even know what a loser you sound like? Do you even know that pretty much the whole fandom is laughing their asses off at H/Hr shippers right now because of DELUDED, MILITANT psychos such as yourself who can't let it go and admit defeat, but instead vilify JK Rowling, the creator of your ENTIRE LIFE (as it seems to me from what you write), and at the same time petition her to change the ending of HER story to make YOU obsessive little weirdos happy. It's not Emerson Spartz that makes H/Hr shippers come across as head cases. It's people like you.

    Get.

    A.

    Life.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:50 AM  

  • Thanks for the wankery! :)

    (BTW, if you were gonna keep up this faux looney bin shipper shit, at least get another username and NOT the same account you used before ;) )

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  • hee! Haven't checked this place since HBP came out but this is a nice (and funny) surprise. thanks!

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